What do dogs do on their day off?; Can't lie around – that's their job!
Dogs lead a nice life. You never see a dog with a wristwatch.
A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.
Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:
George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian and social critic, who won five Grammy Awards for his comedy albums. He was also an actor and author.
Carlin was noted for his black humor as well as his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. Carlin and his "Seven Dirty Words" comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S. Supreme Court case F.C.C. v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a narrow 5–4 decision by the justices affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves.